Month: April 2013

  • Good Evening!

    “Objection! Assumes a fact not in evidence. We’ve not established that this evening is, in fact, good.”

    So…I’ve been learning a lot lately. The good news is that with all the homework I’ve had, I haven’t had to spend a lot of time with myself. I’ve had to move so much stuff into my brain so quickly, there’s hardly room for me in here anymore, which probably is a good thing. Today I had my first exam. It was professional responsibility. While it’s important, the substance of the test is not NEARLY as difficult as the others will be. So, it’s a relatively small deal.

    Even still, I tried to celebrate a little that the exam was over. It didn’t work out.

    Do you know that feeling you get when you’ve made a choice and you’re left dealing with the consequences, which just make you sad. Even when that choice is the right one, it’s still not easy when you feel like you’re missing out on something others have that you don’t. That feeling is where I am right now.

    For me, that “choice” is not having friends. I’m not saying I can’t or that no one likes me or anything like that. It’s just that I shouldn’t. A while back I realized that (1) I don’t understand what having friends/being a friend means; and (2) that confusion makes my life hell. My life is much more manageable without the angst of dealing with humanity. I know it’s selfish. But, it’s necessary.

    ANYWAY, having no friends bummed me out tonight when I wanted to go out. I felt like a celebratory drink was in order. But, my trawling the bar scene solo was not a good idea.

    I realized that I’m too old to hang out at the bar near my home. Really, I’m too old for most of the bars in this college town. And, I’m out of place…I sat awkwardly on a stool by myself underneath the television playing 4 pics 1 word for nearly half an hour before I left. So, I’m sure I looked strange. Although, I did wear a bow tie. What’s life without a little whimsy? Hmmm?

    So, after I tried to be cool for an hour, I failed. But that’s okay. That’s me. I’m not cool. I AAAAAMMM free, and I’m running with blood on my knees (bonus points to the person who can identify the song and artist I’m stealing from!).

    It’s time now to rest…and start frantically reviewing for my next exam on Tuesday. For those of you who pray, please, please, PLEASE keep my passing the next exams in your prayers. : ) Much obliged.

    Did you have a good Saturday evening?