It's not Apple's latest product...it's just how I would describe the way I go about my life: I Bumble.
The other day, I decided to go to the grocery store. It's only a block away and I normally walk. This time, however, my purchases were much more than my usual tote bag could carry. My grocery bag tore open while I was walking back from the grocery store...and all my cans of chicken stock fell to the ground. The ground was actually a road because I was crossing the street at the time. I tried to scoop the fallen cans and place them in the already-overloaded tote...but they fell out as soon as I took the next time. And by that time, the tote bag had shifted and was digging painfully into my skin. I had to leave the stock. I made it home, put away my other groceries, and then return to the side of the road to collect them. It was a little embarrassing...and more than a little clumsy.
Stumbling and bumbling around is a common theme in my life. I'm aware that I maladroitly navigate most human-interactive channels....and apparently the car-traveling channels as well! At times it's frustrating, most of the time it's endearing. But it's always part of who I am. Pero, no me aguito por eso, c'est la vie.
In fact, this "bumbleness" was an unfortunate characteristic of my Xangacide. I didn't go about it the best way possible. And in the process, I may have worried some Xanga users and alienated others. There's been a brief buzz about closing Xanga accounts of late; and since I have gone through one, I thought that I'd opine on the subject.So, what follows is first a brief history of my Xanga experience which concludes with some final remarks about Xangacide that I wish I had known earlier.
First, a public confession: I used to be yertmax6680. Really, that means nothing now. I shut down my account in 2009 after having used it for a little more than four years. Under that user name, I found a corner of Xanga where I enjoyed interacting with certain Xangans and I really enjoyed the exposure to all the different kinds of people I was "meeting" there.
Xanga in 2009 was a slightly different place than it is now: the -ish sites were the frequent source of much controversy (should they exist, they're bullying out the good writers, etc.); meet-ups weren't as commonplace an event; and of course, the Xanga "royalty" was a little different...Although, as I'm sure y'all are all (it's okay, I can say things like "y'all are all" and "all y'all"--I'm from Texas) aware, there are some long-enduring dynasties.
In March of 2009 I was in personal crisis. I was about to undertake my second collegiate transfer in less than a year. I was TERRIBLE at being a college student. I had no idea what I wanted (that one's still not worked all the way out) and I felt tremendous pressure to hit every reset button in my life that I could. I was worried that if I kept my Xanga around, the weightiness of the ghosts I harbored here was only harmful. So, one day, I killed my Xanga. I say "kill" because it was a little more impulsive than a simple "shut down" suggests.
I was away from Xanga for about a year. In that time, I like to say that there was a radical transformation and that I accomplished everything that I hoped to in being away. That's not quite the case. There were some personal victories, but that certain wasn't the dominant theme of that period. All in all, I quickly discovered that, while the shut down was necessary, I still missed Xanga a little...there's a layer of community here that I can't/don't/won't access IRL.
I restarted a Xanga account in early 2010 under this username. Since then, I've rediscovered some of the Xangans I really enjoyed following before. Some of them stopped blogging. Others changed usernames. Some changed blogging platforms. But, I found that I was able to rebuild a little of what I missed. That also felt like an accomplishment.
So, now, the part where I sound like d-bag for telling you how to operate your blog. I tried to keep it short.
1. Be decisive. The decision about whether to continue operating your Xanga is strictly yours. No one else can tell you whether it's good for you right now, whether you'll miss all the memories you've worked at creating here, or whether you're just at a point in your life where you need a fresh start. This isn't the type of topic that becomes clearer through a public blog and comment. If you really don't know...you know.
2. Let others know. I found that one of the worst things you can do is to simply drop off the face of Xanga. It can make people worry--and no one deserves that. My recommendation is to post a final entry that gives notice to your readers and explains why you think it's good for you. Be emphatic, but let the entry linger for a while--maybe a week or two. This gives other the chance to bid you adieu.
3. Save important entries! Even though killing my Xanga was probably the best thing I could have done, it still bums me out sometimes that I effectively erased four years--and probably four of the most formative years--of my life (from 16-20 years old). For me, there were some things that REALLY needed to disappear. Other things though were just funny and probably the purest expression of my sense of humor...now, those are lost.
4. Leave contact information. If you've established a particularly strong rapport with certain Xangans, message them your e-mail address so they can interact with you if something particularly interesting or pressing comes up that might concern you. Just because you're leaving Xanga doesn't mean you're leaving behind the people and relationships you made here.
5. Set a plan for return. Let's face it, there is something inexplicably delightful about the Xangasphere. That's why we're all here. So, if you need a time to make a new start, work through some issues, or just to clear something off your plate for a while, be clear about the WHY so that when that particular "why" passes, you'll be able to come back to where all of us weirdos have a voice that other people listen to. My suggestion is to set a clear goal. For example, "When X happens," or "When I am Y," or "When I no longer have deal with/worry about Z, I will return to Xanga."
So, those are my thoughts on shutting down an account/Xangacide. I hope they were helpful and not too pedantic. Have you ever shut down a Xanga account? Would you do it again? differently?
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