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  • Hoodwinked, Bamboozled, and Run Amuck

    Dear NBC:

    Your recent strings of abuses leaves me feeling hoodwinked, bamboozled, and run amuck.

    As an avid TV viewer, I feel betrayed by your refusal to set a date for the new season of Community. As a result, I have no expectations. Your credibility is completely undermined with your viewers. Furthermore, this evening, I found a huge block of "The Voice." "Why?" I ask, "Why?" The failure of tonight's normal comedy line-up leaves me with a gaping void.

    HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LAUGH?!

    TV is a big deal for me. I prefer it to movies. I need to watch the relationships that TV characters have in order to make up for the human contact that I don't have IRL. With TV, one gets to spend a little time with people one finds genuinely interesting over a long period of time. In a way, one gets to know the characters. I look forward to the thirty minutes that you'll get to spend with them every week. When that is taken away from me without an explanation, it leaves me confused and bewildered. It's like I have a friend who refuses to talk to me. While I am accustomed to that feeling, the familiarity doesn't make it any more bearable.

    I don't know what to do; I don't know how to handle it. What can I count on? Where is the accountability? Where is the recourse?

    I understand that TV scheduling is a complicated business and that new technology makes it difficult to bring in advertisement revenue. Still, don't stop trying because it's difficult. There is an entire class of tightly wound Americans (like me) who depend on you to make their lives whole (or at least whole enough to distract themselves for another week).

    I implore you: make up your mind about what to do with Community. I am confident that this show has one of the most loyal fan bases around--even if they are technologically savvy and don't watch live. I am also confident that you will find a way to convert that goodwill into profit--but please, PLEASE don't deprive your viewers that brings such a diverse group of people together.

    Sincerely,
    Bitter in Waco

    P.S.
    If you have any leftover Monica Gellers , please send one my way. I'm in desperate need. I'll even take one that's been in storage since the 90s. Thanks!

  • It's Been a Rough 48 Hours

    But, I just submitted my last paper! For me, classes are officially over for this quarter. Whoo!

    It's probably a time for reflection on what I've learned, what next quarter holds, and all that. But, I'm not feeling it. Instead, I'm luxuriating in the free 36 hours I have before my first exam. I will be so glad once this quarter is past me...and next quarter, and then the three quarters after that...and the bar exam. Then, I should be set...you know, once I find a job and buy a house and work for 42-45 years and can finally retire. Life seems daunting. AHHH!

    Reflection was probably better choice than proflection. Yep. I made up a word.

    Anyway...I'm not doing anything the rest of the day. Hopefully I can catch my Thursday evening stories before going to bed. I would LOVE to get a good night's sleep. I slept less than five hours last night...and I woke up every ten minutes worrying about my paper...and Guatemala for some reason. The class was international business transactions and I guess Guatemala is the international connection? Just another strange dream lately...

    Stink. I just go the confirmation that my professor received the paper...I misspelled the subject line of the e-mail transmitting my paper. Oh well. It's too late to do anything about it now.

    Random question: Is saying "a good night's sleep" an instance of hypallage? Great...now this will keep me up all night. UGH!

  • Dreams and Preoccupation

    Several nights ago, I had a dream where I remember getting a sunburn. At this point, the surrounding circumstances are a little fuzzy. However, I do remember that I was wearing a polo-style shirt that I got rid of a while ago with my navy blue cardigan (this was one of my favorite outfits in the appropriate weather). In the dream, I put on the cardigan to cover up my skin from the sun. I was also in the middle of doing something--talking to someone or moving something, some pedestrian business--when I dream-felt that unmistakable sunburn tingle.

    It was an unusual moment to remember. I found it even more unusual to ascertain its meaning. Sometimes, for the jollies, I look up the parts of my dreams that  I remember in a dream dictionary, like this one. For "sunburn," I found this:

    "To dream that youhave a sunburn indicates that there is an emotional situation or problem thatyou can no longer avoid. Some urgent matter is literally burning through to yoursoul and demanding your immediate attention."

    Aside from what "literally burning through to my soul" means, I began to think about all the emotional problems I've been having--they're wide and various, but not significant. Example: what are the emotional consequences of realizing my computer data may be lost? How do I feel about always losing words with friends to my grandmother? These things solicit some emotional reaction (frustration in the first instance, inadequacy in the second), but aren't enough to demand my immediate (or any) attention.

    Yet, somehow, here I am several days later, my soul still intact (to the best of my knowledge...how do check your soul for burns?).

    I think it was more likely a memory of actually getting a sunburn. The last time I remember wearing that outfit was when I went to visit my sister in Switzerland the first time. We met some of my brother-in-law's friends at a rustic, mountainside restaurant with a panoramic view of Mt. Blanc. Because the air at that altitude was cool and crisp, I didn't realize the creeping, crimson affliction the sun shone on me.

    My conclusion is that that this incident was simply a resurfacing memory that presented itself while I was asleep. Mayhaps it was inspired by my having worn that sweater earlier that day?

    Of course, there's the possibility that my subconscious intentionally brought a certain memory to mind in order to communicate something to my other cognitive processes...something that I am actively suppressing. However, I will leave that monologue to work itself out inside my own noggin.

    What do you with your dreams and dream-memories? How do you process them? Do you have physical sensations (like a pre-sunburn tingle) in your dreams?

  • Barroco

    So...Friday night I went to the only club in the area. I should disclose that a major factor in going was that I heard that there was a shooting there last weekend. And you know...that where $#!* gets real is where I gotta get. #thuglife It was an interesting experience.

    For one, I was surprised that it seemed like a proper night club. Everyone in the area decries the variety and quality of local establishments. That generalization doesn't seem to hold true here. There was an appropriate balance of poor lighting, good seating, crazy light effects, and bass-thumping jams. Overall, it was a pretty cool scene even if not substantially populated.

    The music was a combination of hip-hop and rap with some bachata/meringue thrown in for jollies. So, you know, perfect! Also, I was the only white person there. It's important that the caucasians represent from time to time: just because I'm a honky doesn't mean I can't drop flow like Daddy Yankee or Lyland and Denny. I can't drop flow because I have no flow...it's not directly tied to my ethnicity.

    There was another interesting development. I thought the DJ did a really good job of keeping up a variety of dancin' jamz. However, there was relatively little movement on the dance floor. Off the dance floor, however, the dynamic was reminiscent of a middle-school dance: guys and girls were clustered in groups around the room and not directly participating in the dancing. There was some off-floor, half-hearted movement, which I found disgusting. My attitude: go big and look like a complete idiot or don't even try. This approach once required me to apologize to a group of Peruvian students I met in Madrid, but I still stand by the philosophy.

    I'd like to return someday...but I'd prefer not going by myself again (that's lame). Also, because of my all-or-nothing approach, I ended up not dancing, drinking my margaritas alone, and going home about 11:30 or so. These events were also lame. I guess to summarize, it would have been a BLAST if I weren't such a lame-o.

    Now...if I could only get some Spanish-speaking chicas who would enjoy going with me next time. #dreambig #isthatracist? #whoamikidding #funwith#tags

  • The "F" Word

    I've never really been comfortable using it. It's one of those words that has been stretched and applied to so many contexts that its definition is effectively so broad so as to render the word semantically neutral. I don't like using meaningless words.

    Where vestiges of the original meaning have remained, the idea makes me uncomfortable...especially in inter-personal speech. It's something inherently personal. To force its usage in public fora, at times, seems inappropriate.

    So, that's why I frequently hesitate to use the "F" word. However, it's becoming increasingly difficult to avoid it...thanks a lot, Zuckerburg!

    When I get an "f" request, I don't quite know what to do about it. Is it an expression of a current relationship or what it will be or a mere statement about the possible destination our acquaintance may lead. Is not "f"ing someone offensive? More offensive than "f"ing someone when you won't enjoy it?

    The form of the word has changed little since Proto-Germanic, which is the source of the original verb from which the noun derived. The verb "friojonan" meant "to favor or love." So someone who was the object of such affection was a "freogan," then a "freond" in Old English. (Interestingly, the noun has since been verbed (even funnier, "verb" is a noun (hee hee!)) even though it was an agented form of a verb over a thousand years ago!) The kernel of meaning has changed little in that time: someone who is related to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A little word with big implications, albeit softened and made less acute over time. Still, some of the personal intensity remains. That's what I don't know how to handle.

    I even hesitate to tell people that I have "fs," primarily because I don't know if I do. There are a series of obligations and rights that the f-ship includes in its manifest...but the manifest remains unwritten and otherwise undecipherable to me. I.e., "What does being/having an 'f" mean?" It eludes me.

    Meh...maybe I'm just super trendy and not into labels: "fs," "bfsf," "acquaintance," or otherwise.

    What's an "f" for you?

  • I hate not understanding computers...

    It's especially problematic when my computer crashes two weeks before finals and it has all my notes, outlines, and basically everything I need to prepare.

    But, really, this is on me. For one, my computer has been been on its last legs for a while. AND! It's the most appropriate cap to the week I've been having...I should have seen it coming.

    So, if any of you are technically savvy, here's the issue:

    I have an HP dv6000 that runs Windows Vista. Wednesday night I was YouTubing. Then, 'puter started making a strange clicking noise, which I didn't notice because of the YouTube. I even made a video of the clicky/whirry sound. Then the computer froze. I manually shut it down. Since then, I can get it to power on, I get the start-up-in-a-variety-of-safe-modes menu. But, none of these options effect access to any program/files/etc. It sounds like it's working, but the screen stays forever blank/black. At no time do I get a BSOD. I've tried starting up in every form of safe mode.

    The clicking noise suggests hardware problems, but it could also be a virus. I tried restoring the system to about a week ago. This also didn't resolve the issue, however, 'puter said the system restore was sucessful...idk what that means. It would be just like him to spew lies all over the place. Also, now I can't even get to the system restore option...idk what else to try.

    At this point, I'm not opposed to getting a new computer (it's 5 years old and crazy loud). However, I am VERY opposed to losing the files I have. As mentioned, I need them for exam purposes...and exams start in a few very short weeks.

    So, if any of you have any idea of what I should try next, please let me know. I guess the upside is that now if I bomb my exams I can honestly say "Well...I would have done better if my computer hadn't crashed." After all, a big part of life is about being able to shift the blame for the things your confidence would never recover from to other people, events, or entities, right?

  • Whiney Weekend

    This weekend was NOT all I hoped it would be.

    DISCLAIMER: There's nothing interesting in here; I whine about how my weekend was different from my expectations. Proceed at the risk of being bored.

    Since I had a relatively light load of homework, I thought I would take advantage of having a free Friday night. I began formulating plans about the places I would go to have a raucous good time. My car was still out of commission, but that wasn't a big deal because there's a popular bar a block from where I live. I don't really like it, but there's almost always someone I know there and looking forward to the evening and having no car, it was not a bad option.

    Naturally, I started pre-gaming about 5:30. About 7:00 I realized that I hadn't eaten all day, which was a bad sign. Eventually, I strolled across the street to a fast-food, fried-chicken place. I enjoyed my meal there and felt like I was prepared to enjoy the rest of the evening. However, by the time I got home (about 9:00), I was already feeling tired. I ended Friday night watching the newest episode of Private Practice on my laptop and going to bed at 10:30. It was weak. But, that wasn't the worst part.

    (Note: In a blog that will follow, I'll explain why I think this part of the weekend was probably the optimal result. But that's for later.)

    I woke up Saturday morning at 2:30 and absolutely could not fall back asleep. At 3:30, I got out of bed, wrote this and crawled back into bed about 7:00. By 9:00 I was getting texties from my parents who were coming to help me take care of some things around the condo. There was no more sleep.

    When my parents got here, we set ourselves to: replacing the microwave (the other one was actually older than I am and died), changing my car battery, and fixing the garbage disposal in my sink. I thought that everything would take about three hours, five hours tops. Alas, at 10:00 last night, my parents went back home. My car battery is replaced and the microwave is precariously attached to the wall and hanging above the stove top. I was exhausted not only from a day filled with problems with projects but also from not having slept well the night before. I really appreciate my parent's coming down to help me with these things...I just REALLY wish we could have done them correct/had all the information we needed to make the best choices/come up with an alternative plan. After a somewhat disappointing SNL (despite a rather great opening), I went to bed.

    Today, I need to do the homework I thought I would be able to at least get a start on yesterday. So, my Sunday will be far from the moment's breath I need before starting next week and heading into the last two weeks of the quarter...BOOOO!

    I understand that none of these things are a big deal. And, I have failed to give adequate weight the importance of being able to drive my car again. Still, sometimes you just need to whine. Hopefully, by writing out these complaints, I'll be done with them and I can move on to accomplish something in the few hours that remain in my weekend. Hopefully.

  • Individual Counts: How the Electoral College Makes Your Vote Count MORE

    During election years, there are sustained murmers about the unfairness and antiquated nature of the electoral-college process. The foundation for these grumblings lies in the distaste for a system that was largely created to insulate the political process from uneducated masses and that can, in effect, undermine the will of a majority of the people. Apart from mere tradition, there are some characteristics of our presidential-determination scheme that, in my view, justify (maybe even require!) its further existence.

    First, the electoral college makes an individual vote count more. Because the electoral college comprises a series of winner-take-all steps, the influence of a single vote has a cascading effect up from the local level to the national stage. In 2008, about 122 million votes were cast. In a pure popular-vote arrangement, that means that each individual vote is worth 1 out of 122 million or something like .00000082 % of all voters. That's a very small number. To help visualize: you can cover 288 tennis courts with 122,000,000 million quarters. The little patch covered by one quarter is your vote. Further, of the represented $ 30.5 million (in quarters), your vote is worth 25 cents. C'est pas beaucoup.

    BUT! In the electoral college, your vote counts to the extent that it can tip the balance in your state (generally). California is only about 12% of the total US population. That's only 34 quarter-covered tennis courts! And most states are significantly smaller. Texas and New York (the next largest states) represent about 8 and 6 percent of the population. When the same vote is cast in a smaller pool, it is necessarily worth more. Of course, if you vote in the minority in your state, your vote doesn't count at all (maybe unless you live in Nebraska or Maine). But is the effect (that is, the risk of vote "loss") any different from voting in the minority of a direct election by popular vote? I don't think so; it just happens at a different point.

    Second, it provides more certainty, which reduces the overall costs of campaigns and elections. There's a big emphasis on the swing states because the uncertainty in an election is largely limited to those areas. The eight or so (depending on the year) swing states get bombarded with ads, visits, and all sorts of campaignery. If there are eight swing states, there are 42 states where things are decided. That's 84% of the election done and decided! How often is anyone ever 84% sure of some future event? It's rare for me.

    The uncertainty makes campaigns expensive. Consequently, a disproportionate amount of campaign funds are spent in swing states. One of the things I never liked about presidential campaigns is how much candidates spend. But, a lot of campaign money does go into the American economy: candidates will purchase buttons and stickers or have posters printed, etc. in 'Murrica because it would look unpatriotic if a candidate spent money abroad...so the cost isn't ALL bad. Still, can you imagine the result if all votes across all states were up for grabs under a direct-election system? I think there would be some re-allocation of currently spent funds, but I also think there would be a net increase in the cost of campaigns. There would be a corresponding, increased burden on voters to donate, which is almost like a tax even if voluntary. Under an electoral system, votes stay local--so volunteering or just talking with neighbors would have a relatively greater impact than contribution.

    Third, the electoral-college scheme embodies a foundational principle of our government: tiered sovereignty. Part of our governing philosophy is a division of power over different areas. This creates diversity in approaches to legal resolutions of problems. Rules about maple-syrup grading necessary in Vermont may be wholly irrelevant in Mississippi; what's good policy in Louisiana may not be in Wisconsin, even though they're both community-property jurisdictions. The idea is that the states are just similar enough that they pay attention to and learn from one another, but have the power to take a different course. The electoral college demonstrates that dynamic. It compels solidarity within a state by sending delegates in a winner-take-all fashion, but keeps separate the consequences of one state's election from those of another state. This is the principle that makes us innovative; it makes sense that it plays out on a large scale.

    While the electoral college isn't without its legitimate criticisms, I think it's generally a good system. I like the impact my vote has in a smaller pool; I like that voters aren't subjected to campaign ads where people have largely made up their minds; I like the dynamic it creates between states and nationally elected leaders. It's not perfect, but nothing humans do is. All in all, it works for me, and makes me feel like my vote means something.

    Do you feel disenfranchised or empowered by the way we elect a President?

  • Skippy Dippy

    In my usual fashion, I procrastinated on a project. Consequently, I spent this whole weekend working on it, trying to get my head around the issues, thinking about what a limited liability company really IS, and why it matters in the hypothetical given to us. Once I got into it, I kind of enjoyed the thought process. There are fun loopholes, interesting conceptual challenges, construction questions and all the like. But, I did not leave myself enough time to really do a good job. I did a job. I got it done.

    In the end, I feel like I cheated myself. It's not so much from a grade standpoint--although I KNOW I could have done better if I had planned better, but rather because I didn't give myself the opportunity to enjoy what I was working on. TIn my view, that's the real tragedy.

    I was so far behind on working on the project that I skipped my other two classes to finish the project. It's the first time that I've skipped so far this quarter and very likely will be the last. Plus, since the project basically makes up half of my grade, it was probably worth it to squeeze as many points out of it as possible.

    I cannot make myself just start *doing* something. At least, not what I know I should be doing. I'll do the dishes, fold laundry, take a shower...just about anything to avoid the homework. Heck, last night I almost busted out the mop and bucket to mop the floors! In my defense, it needs to be done...but not before my memo is.

    I've always been a procrastinator. When I was younger, it emanated from my perfectionistic tendencies. Now, I think the root cause is an equal mixture of: (1) general apathy about life; (2) busyness; (3) fear of not doing a good job. Regarding the third factor, what's worse than setting yourself to do something, spending a lot of time on it, investing yourself into it, just to have it eviscerated and dealing with all the subsequent feelings of inadequacy and incompetence? At least if I procrastinate, I'll have a reasonably acceptable excuse if things don't work out as I'd like. It serves as a little layer of emotional protection.

    Why do you procrastinate? How do you get yourself going?

  • Fugivitive

    That's right...I'm on the run. And I desperately hope that I don't get caught.

    Incident to my moving in, I thought I should update the address on my driver's license. Once I excised it from its single-window abode in my wallet, I was shocked to discover the expiration date.

    Apparently my licensed expired on my twenty-fourth birthday (a weird time), which, dear reader, you'll remember was about three weeks ago. I thought I had until next year. Since then, I've been driving around town unlawfully. Luckily, I don't drive that often, so there's been little opportunity to caught. Also, I actually obey traffic laws--further reducing the probs.

    Fortunately, this sort of evasion will end once I get the driver's license renewed. The furtive driving about town on the verge of a violation for the next few days will soon pass.This incident has a clear cause and a clear end date. My usual fugitive tendencies aren't nearly as well defined.

    I'm a professional runner...but not from the fuzz...or even the healthy kind. Instead, I try to hide away from regrets...but they're always with me. Running from yourself doesn't work out. It leaves one only running from all the things that reminds oneself of the poor choices in life. When you have a good memory and poor decision-making skills--BOOM! No rest for the weary.

    The point of this post is that having an expired driver's license is a real bummer...or else self-reflection is. IDK.

    Also, are you allowed to drive to the department of public safety for the purposes of renewing your license? I can do it online, but I kind of want a new picture...so I'll need to put it off until after I get a hair cut. Advice?