My favorite part of this weekend was when my older, deaf, monolingual brother attempted to explain to me the differences between European and Latin American Spanish. HAH! A later conversation ended up with him explaining to me which documents a court would admit to probate/construe as a will. Double HAH!

My grandfather (ever full of crotchety, practical wisdom) once told me: "The only fool bigger than the one who thinks he knows it all is the one who tries to argue with him." I have been that fool. I keep hoping that someday older bro' will realize that there are certain topics he should not attempt to know in greater depth than I do. To that end, I ask questions about why he has formed certain opinions--even though he has no reasons for them--and then explain why he's wrong. I'm trying not to argue...but he needs to know that talking out of your ass is bothersome to many people, right?

"That's incorrect. There's no such thing as a universal 'European' dialect because they speak different languages across Europe. In Spain, they do a lisp thing with c and z before e or i and use the form "vosotros." Those are the primary differences."

"A 'letter of intent' is not a thing in the will context. And whoever is the designated beneficiary of your life insurance will get it free and clear of any instructions you left in a 'letter of intent.'"

How do you handle that one relative in your family who just doesn't get it? It reminds me of drunk uncle:

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While not typically incendiary with the substance of the conversation, the presumption of knowing something better than me (even though all of our history together would clearly contra-indicate the presumption) is upsetting. It's like there's: (1) no memory or depth of our relationship; or (2) any respect for my knowledge of a particular field. When it comes to language and phonetics, I know stuff (yes, even more than this guy); I speak three languages and spend free time just acquiring linguistic knowledge--not to mention the formal education I received in my foreign-language classes. And, I'm currently interning with a probate court judge, so I think I have a better sense of the effect a certain kind of document would have as a testamentary disposition.

BAH! It's just kind of frustrating.

How do you handle family members who belittle your expertise? How do you try to ween them from their annoying habits for their own good?

This title is really funny if: (1) you know that partial performance is a thing; and (2) you know that this phase of the research topic is partial performance in contracts for the transfer of real property. Alas, why must I always resort, to arcane, inaccessible humor? It's probably because I don't have access to the normal objects of witticism (pop-culture, surrounding circumstances, references to previous events). Oh well...someday when I'm not up to my nose in legal research, I'll be able to make jokes that are actually funny. But, by definition, today is not someday.

Research has been an interesting process. I think I've finally gotten a handle on what being a research assistant is. The research is raised by an unanswered question. The research process answers the question and is analogous to putting together a puzzle. My job isn't to put the pieces together. My job is to find the right pieces out of a box of pieces for many different puzzles. Then, I'll give the pieces to the judge to work out. So, it's critical that I find all the right pieces.

I've spend a large part of today navigating various research channels and will continue to do so. I also need to go jogging. But, the day is kind of rainy...but I feel so much better after I jog...but I feel awful when I jog. So, that will be an interesting conflict that I will resolve later. Unlike the research project, I actually will have to answer this question. Also unlike the research project, I'm not interested in the answer...

At any rate, I got to research from home today and not have to defend myself against the hordes of marauding, inconsiderate Dallas drivers. People generally drive friendly in Texas. For one, we Texans aren't a rushed people. For another, many people don't carry the statutorily mandated liability insurance--an accident could result in the suspension of their license. Additionally driving "friendly" is the Texas way. But, there's something about Dallas drivers...Dallasites I think are just tightly wound and obnoxious. But, that's just my humble, West-Plex point of view. (Note: I'm attempting to get people to call the DFW area "the Plex." It's a shortened form of "Metroplex," which is a common way to reference the area. I think it could work.)

In the meantime, keep it real.

Today was my first day of internshipery. There was a commute. There were important things. I felt like a grown up.

Unfortunately, I was unprepared. I spent most of my time observing the court. I've decided to keep a journal from now own. I'll call it: "Trey's Guide to Dying." It sounds morbid...but I'm in a probate court, which deals primarily with the instruments of death--wills, will contests, etc. (Sorry @robofthesky, I'm not stealing your "guide" paradigm, I promise!). So, it's an apt title.

I learned a lot (like about the Court's hesitance to construe a will without an underlying, authorizing cause of action). And I saw some pretty absurd things (like the lawyer who said that opposing counsel "threw" an order at him. I "L"edOL.).

All in all, I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Today started better than the best couple days have wound up. (Perhaps for lack of an event requiring it? J/k...BizOrg joke (BizOrg = business organization).)

It appears that I will get an internship after all, which is exciting...kind of. It's not the one I wanted...there may be a lot of work. However, it seems that the schedule will be rather flexible. Plus, it will be a good resume builder...which I DESPERATELY need. But, that means I need to get my FB page together...you know, to look official/professional. Sigh. I'm not sure I can pull it off. But, then again, self-doubt and loathing is my strong suit...before you get upset thinking I'm being ridiculous, it's been said that "it's not bagging if it's true." So, despite what you may think, I'm not just full of myself.

I bought tickets today for the various legs of my trip to Europe later. I have a layover in Amsterdam. I wish there was enough time to enjoy the Netherlands...alas, it'll just be another opportunity in my life that I'll have to fee liked I missed. C'est la vie. Qu'est-ce qu'on fait? The good news is that the layover should be the perfect amount of time to get to the next gate and catch my breath from running. Score!

My sister was kind enough to let me crash at her place in Switzerland for the few days before I have to be in Spain. That'll give me a chance to get over the jet lag. Luckily, the jaunt from there to Madrid is less than two hours. The timing for checking in that day should be perfect.

So, my summer will be: Internship in Dallas, brief stay en Suisse, studying abroad in Spain, nannying in Swtizerland. Not too shabby.

And accomplishing the same.

Although, I did catch the new "Addicted to You" video. It was a disappointment. But, that's probably only fair that I have that reaction...since that the emotion I produce in most people I meet.

In other news, I've decided to reactivate my Facebook. I'm trying to make it awesome. I'm adding pictures, updating my statuses, etc...but it seems entirely hollow because, as of yet, I still have no friends. My FB page is sad, which makes me sad. I'm bad at Facebook. I.e., I'm bad at doing nothing.

The good news is that I don't have to be doing anything. So, by not accomplishing anything, I'm right on task. There's a comfort in being on task. There's discomfort in not having a task...everything feels wasted. Especially when there's a task you want to have.

But, I'm going to try to keep busy doing productive things. Let's see how it goes. The good news is that I have a blog, so if there are any developments--you'll be posted.

BTW, this is getting posted to the ol' FB wall.

Note: The whole post is not French!***D’abord, je voudrais exprimer que je suis très désolépour les erreurs que vous verrez ici. Je ne parle pas français nativement, et voilà pourquoi je commets des erreurs de grammaire.***

C’était mois…j’étais le petit homme. Mais je ne suis pas petit et n’avais pasde drôle de maison. Rather,I lived within the walls I created for myself.

Quand on estpetit, personne tells about the dangers of l’imagination. Quelquesfois, une maîtrise a dit, dutifully and jovially, que “Your imagination is apowerful thing. Use it wisely.” Elle n’ajouté pas de explication. Leproblème est que les jeunes ne sont pas très sages. So, seizing onthis newfound power, I built another world…un lieu sain et sauf ou je pouvaisréflechir aux evennements du jour or even about what I wanted to do in thefuture. Slowly, though, I stopped carrying the “baggage” « de la réalité »with me. Je fixais sur la construction imaginaire.

 …Pirouette, cacahuète…

Comme le « pauvre » facteur a appris, appearancescan be deceptive. Jene me suis pas blessé le nez while using a paper staircase; néanmois, I oftenrely too much on my imaginatively constructed reality to the detriment of morereasonable observations. In the scheme of things, this seems like a mild fauxpas ; mais, il apporte des conséquences graves.

Aujourd’hui, j’ai trouvé cette citation de MadeleineMonette :

« Le danger, c’est quand on se met à composer sa viecomme une œuvre d’art. Le danger, c’est quand l’imagination n’écoute plus quesa propre poésie. »

“‘Danger’ iswhen you start proceeding with  your lifelike it’s a work of art. ‘Danger’ is when your imagination stops listening toeverything but its own poetry.”

 There’s afundamental beauty to tidiness. I like it when things wrap up neatly.  J’aime beaucoup l’esthétique.Je préfère que tout aille nettoiement, selon un schème discernable. But, lifeis messy. La vie ne se passe toujours comme prévue. Le problème que je trouveest que a lot of times, my neat and tidy explanations of things I can’t directly observe ne revèlent pas toujoursla vérité.

 Et voilà la chose: l’imagination doit être basée sur la  réalité.Or else, it fails for want of meaning. Imagination, while powerful, cannot existin a vacuum. To achieve anything, must begin or end or in some way develop areal issue. Ce qui est purement imaginaire ne fait que perdre letemps. Mais, quand ces deux forces sont en équilibre, there’s a dynamicsynthesis of thought that leads to compelling resolution…voilà, le synthèsedynamique.

Avez-vous des conseilles pour bien mélanger la réalité etl’imagination ? Howdo you keep your imagination in check ? How do you keep reality fromkilling it ?

If you’re notfamiliar with this song, c’est mignonne. Voici un lien.

I've been looking forward to summer break for a while. The way our classes are scheduled, we don't really get any time to stop and breathe. Our breaks come in the middle of the quarters--which is NOT the way the quarter system is supposed to work, btw. Consequently, I spend my quarters worrying about outlining, catching up, pending finals, etc. instead of decompressing. It's entirely likely that this is a "me" problem because I don't handle stress well...I should probably be medicated. But, I'm not, so...I whine in a blog instead.

Anyway, instead of studying the law of business organizations in the wee hours of the morning like I should have been because I couldn't sleep, I stumbled across some old blogs written by friends in high school. While I graduated in 2007 and the blogs were from around my sophomore year, it still doesn't seem like it was THAT long ago (not the eight years that it's been). And while I was an ancillary character in the blogs (I can remember the events happening, but I wasn't a party), I felt a weird nostalgia. I disliked the first half of high school, but generally liked the second half. But, I made many more mistakes the second half (mostly class scheduling), which I desperately wish I could undo.

In high school, the only (extra)curricular activity I really participated in was drama/theater. I wish now I hadn't. It turns out, I don't really like it. This realization was compounded by the fact the old blogs I read were written by hardcore drama students--the type who are likely now professional actors. They had incredible talent...and pursued it. They were all in.

In contrast, I didn't go all in high school. My talent was not drama, but language. I don't speak French and Spanish perfectly; but, for only having learned them in school, my current capacity to use those languages is freaking incredible. Rather than take French III in high school, I did the one-act play competition. It was lame. We didn't do well (due in part because the really talented people I mentioned earlier boycotted the competition under the teacher who was the coach). French III would have been a much better use of my time. For that matter, art classes would have been a better use of my time!

So...Here on the verge of summer, anticipating the upcoming break, I see myself looking forward but hung up on the similarities my current state bears to the past. I'm in law school. I don't have a preferred area. My grades aren't good. I don't feel like I'm succeeding on this "life path." I spend most of my time doing stuff that's not my favorite.

Sometimes I want to raise a single, glorious middle finger to law school and get a Ph.D. in linguistics. Doubtlessly, I'd uncover all the mysteries of universal grammar and reveal the complexities of human, verbal expression. Hah! But even if I didn't, I'm fairly sure that I would enjoy every second of trying to do so. Other times, I think that dream is illusory and it wouldn't work out the way that I think it would, which is probably true.

The situation then is somewhat analogous to the one I'm facing now. I'm having to make decisions, essentially without guidance, about what I can do to make my future better. The lack of guidance comes more from the inherent uncertainty of the future than a lack of advisers. That is, my choices are essentially a "best choice," which is still entirely speculative; I can't ground a choice in anything concrete. That was my condition in high school. It's the same story now.

The only comfort I find is that I'm about eighteen months from my twenty-fifth birthday. When you turn twenty-five, most of your big life choices are over. You're education is essentially complete; you've selected a career; most people have found a spouse or are in a relationship with the person who will be their spouse. The quarter-century paradigm is not as pervasive as it once was (and I could go on for days about how unfair it is that society makes under-25-year-olds make these choices); however, it still lingers enough to make me think that somehow, within the next two years, my life will magically all come together. Y sigo esperando...

This post turned out kind of melancholy. If you need something a little cheerier, watch this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?src_vid=vDRnkTSdbRE&annotation_id=annotation_831236&feature=iv&v=jTzOh3K11jM  I'm sure it's the next youtube sensation. I want to get my parody in early...I have a clever idea that involves contraceptives and tacos...cuz I'm classy.

**D’abord, je suis très désolé pour les erreurs qu’on trouvera ici. Il a fait longtemps depuis que j’ai écrit en français. Mais, en même temps, je voudrais demander que vous portiez les erreurs à mon attention pour que je puisse les corriger. Pour moi, c’est la meilleure manière d’apprendre.Merci !**

Je pense que j’ai épiquement échoué mon examen aujourd’hui. Maintenant, j’ai des doutes sérieux de devenir avocat.

Dans cet examen, il s’agit de la loi de fidéicommis, et les effets des événements de la vie (la morte, le mariage, le divorce, etc.) sur la propriété. Je vous conseille de ne pas se marier…ni mourir. Tout deviendra trop compliqué. Au moins, je l’ai trouvé plus compliqué que le reste des choses que je dois apprendre avant d'être avocat.

Il a fait un an depuis que j’ai commencé à faire dudroit. Au début, j’attendais que le travail était dur et que les jours étaientlongue, mais je pensais que c’était quelque chose que je pouvais faire. Lapremière série de notes m’a étonné. Depuis ce moment-là j’ai fortement essayéde ne pas être un étudiant « C ». Je n’ai pas réalisé succès à cet égard.

Il y a beaucoup de choses qui m’énervent au moment.  Les notes sont une. Aussi, je suis nul en« networking ». Un but important est établir contacts avec autre étudiants qui vont être avocats aussi. Selon mon avis, je pense que je ne réussis qu’à exaspérer les personnes que je rencontre…Je doute d’employer avec exactitude le mot « ami » (sauf quand je serais ivrogne) pourdécrire une seule relation que j’ai depuis avoir commencé à faire du droit.

En même temps, je pense qu’il y a des personnes qui s’opposeront à cette proposition (que je n’ai pas d’amis ici). Mais, c’est un ressentiment…même si pas lié a la réalité. Je pense que cela démontre macapacité d’exaspérer le monde, n’est-ce pas?

A un niveau basique, je manque un entendre humain et fondamental. Je n’ai pas de confiance d’entendre les autres. C’est un problème si on veut travailler dans un métier qui aide les gens à résoudre leurs problèmes.

Maintenant, je suis au bord de l’été et, encore, je n’ai pas de stagiaire. C’est à cause, partiellement, d’être paresseux en en cherchant, mais aussi de ne pas avoir de bonnes notes…J’ai plans d’étudier en Espagne en juillet, mais je pense que je passerai mai et juin sans faire rien. : (

Plus que être avocat, je veux réussir. Je sais que faire le succès de la vie est longue et difficile…c’est beaucoup plus dur si on n’est pas sûr de marcher le bon chemin. Mercredi, j’ai un autre examen. J’espèrequ’il aille mieux, mais j’ai mes doutes.

There comes a point when you're preparing for finals that you stop caring about:

1. What you're eating

2. What you're wearing

3. The last time you took a shower

4. Just about anything that's not related to trusts and estates, business organizations, or tax...

I'm there.

So, today, I put on my slip-ons and donned my backpack and made the jaunt down the street the library. Oh yeah...I'm wearing my pijamas as I blog. The really amazing part is that no one else cares either.

Finals stress creates this weird sense of nervous camaraderie. Everyone's terrified. And, everyone's hoping that everyone else fails. Even your friends...they want you to do well, but they want to do better. That's the name of the game though in law school. There are few professions where success depends on how badly you beat the other guy...*sigh*

But, I'm here now typing up the last eight weeks of notes from Business Organizations. I think I may have taken too many notes. My informal survey indicates that people take anywhere from 1/4 of a page to two pages of notes. In contrast, I have 4-5 pages of notes everyday...I hope I'm not making things too complicated.

And while we're on the subject, I've been getting this question lately: "Why are you making this so complicated?" The real answer is "because that's just what  I do." If it's not worthy complicating, it's not worth doing, right? Right? In the context of studying, I tell myself its because I'm trying to find the holes or gaps in different concepts to find the precise ends where I can use a particular rule to solve a problem or else resort to a different one. But, I fear that might be a lie...sadly, I'm still the most likely to be deceived by myself.

The second time I got that question this week, I begin to think about it. I realized that I may be inventing ridiculous hypotheticals because I'm overwhelmed by how little I know about the subject matter. I think I'm trying to pretend to have mastery and, in doing so, trick myself into a false sense of confidence about how much I know. My reasoning is that if I can focus on the loopholes, it must mean that I'm comfortable with the general principals. On reflection, however, this is not the case.

Alas, I'm going to fail out of law school. Oh well. At least summer vacation is only a week away.

Also, "Somebody that I Used to Know" has been stuck in my head for the past week. Does anyone else have this problem?

You just end up getting syrup everywhere and find all over your clothes. It's kind of gross. However, there are comparatively few options when someone at your "table" gives you stink eye.

For me, law school is much more like high school than high school was...but there aren't as many jocks. There were more people in my graduating senior class in high school than there are currently attending law school, which is still weird to me.

While I did well academically in high school, I tried my hardest to avoid the drama that often accompanies high-school relationships. It was a good move then, but it left me socially crippled later. I continued the avoidance tactic throughout college--and while I was never sure how voluntary my failure to interact with others was, I think it was more voluntary than I thought. As a consequence, in the past year, I've talked to only a dozen people that I either: (1) attended high school with; or (2) attended college with. This includes my two younger brothers who attended high school at the same time I did and one guy I know from law school who happened to go to the same high school I did. It's kind of sad.

Ultimately, I waited too long in life to learn how to make friends. My attempts and interacting with people seem forced and awkward (because they are) and I very often cross boundaries of socially appropriate behavior. Similarly, I cannot resolve conflicts; I never know whether to "fix" or "ignore," which can rub people the wrong way...especially when you try to do one and they try to do the other. Hence...the stink eye.

So, I avoided. No matter what the actual circumstances are, I think it's better to prevent others' discomfort or potential awkwardness when it's easy for me to do. It's not worth the risk. At this point I'm used to being the weirdo, so I feel like I can deal with whatever weirdness happens from avoiding than what would happen if I thrust myself into a situation. Rather than having not-quite-midnight breakfast inside, I ate alone outside...That sounds sad, but it really wasn't. The evening was incredibly beautiful.

The lights along the jogging trail were reflected in the river. There's a fascination with being able to watch yourself, imagining and observing your behavior from other than your point of view. A little objectivity--even if artificial--can go a long way. Plus, it's just nice to be outside when the weather's fresh and cool. As I was walking back around the building (because the back doors were locked), I even saw some people setting out hammocks. It looked delightful.

Anyway, I have loads of studying to do...and I promised to make chicken tortilla soup for a friend. Plus, I keep finding crystallized maple-impersonation syrup on my body. There's no time to live inside my head as much as I do, but I think I'm addicted. Ooo! Maybe I chose to eat outside because the breakfast event was like a metaphor for the bustle and activity that's happening in my own mind; sometimes I just need to get away...or maybe I realized that I could never actually be happy/content there...Alas, that is another blog for another time. MUST...STUDY...TRUSTS...AND...ESTATES...